Geek flirt alert

For most computer geeks, writing code is easy. But trying to compose an amorous email may cause night sweats, said a fun article in WIRED magazine today targeted at geeky boys. The title read flirting with confidence. It had suggestions like 'forget star wars' coz no girl wants to take about it, 'dont dance' coz you'll be a disaster, 'remember they are people' not a compiler so only crack obvious jokes if you want to be funny, etc.

It reminded me of this research that came out in April published by NORTON, the antivirus company. The research findings reported that Indians are highest in number when it comes to flirting online, followed by the China. It's an absolute shocker. India is unquestionably the biggest geek land on earth (apologies to the 100 million plus desi geeks). Ok maybe China gives us a tough competition there. But still the highest? To me, the research finding is, at best, an oxymoron.

Our boys back home (generalizing here people so don’t get worked up) can’t woo women effortlessly or make them go weak in the knees by compelling gestures or flirt like it’s math. The whole reason behind arranged marriages in India, I think, is that our nerdy boys are slightly challenged in the romance department. It's not their fault. They burn the midnight oil until they've collected all the available degrees and safely put them away in their heavy metal locker and landed the job of their dreams, at which point it's too late to start the flirt cycle. Like any other skill, flirting is an art with a huge learning curve. And 27 (give or take) is not the age to experiment with it unless you are a natural. Hence mommy and enterprising relatives to rescue, whose conspiracies btw can put CIA to shame.

So how on earth did we manage to be the highest number in flirting? Even if we exclude the expat bachelors (it's easy to watch and learn on foreign shores) how do we do it back home? Humor, a key ingredient in online flirting, is not our forte. Queen's english with errr bad grammer (it's not always present continuous tense silly) doesn't help either. And pointed direct umcomfortable questions (our niche) are a definite spoiler. So what is it?

Think I know the answer. The virtual flirting toolbox that the internet provides is indeed a work of art. There's a very good chance that every cool online app designed ever had an Indian brain involved. When we can get machines to do all the work, why do it ourselves. Just poke the heck outta her or have the crush app tease the girl or keep liking her status and commenting on her pics. And bingo, you're a certified flirt.

So girls, get flattered all your want but not before switching on your webcam to check out the reality behind that username. Time to play Kitty from Karamchand.