Friday, May 8, 2009

Bechara dulha!!!

I was browsing an Indian news site with my afternoon dose of caffeine when a very sidey news story jumped out at me 'student to appear for finals hours before his wedding'. Apparently, a 28-year old guy in Mumbai was "heart-broken" when his finals that kept getting postponed due to the Lok Sabha elections finally ended up being scheduled on his wedding day. He reported how sad he was that he had not been able to help out his family to prep for his upcoming wedding while the exams were being rescheduled, but was hoping to make up for his towards the end and now that possibility did not exist either.

Puuuhlease spare us the drama Mr. dulha. I am willing to bet good money that this dude is beyond thrilled deep down inside, ecstatic about the fact that he will get to skip all the labor that goes into Indian weddings and just show up as a chief guest to cut the ribbon and take away the prize (bride). That is just how Indian men in India function. I have not come across one guy who takes the process seriously, while the poor bride and her family slogs for a year at the minimum, more if they live in a metro. Guys are quick to recommend eloping instead if they get hit up to do too many things.

In sharp contrast, the diligence and the sincerity of three of my non-Indian guy colleagues who have gotten married over the past few years has been commendable. Organizing weddings in US is just as much work and requires one to go through a semi-grueling process of picking everything from a invitation card, church, a reception venue, hors devours, dinner menu, alcohol, cake, DJ, songs that can be a played, songs that should never be played, photographer, dresses, decor, seating charts, gifts for the registry and so much more and doing test runs with them all. The process concludes with writing and mailing thank-you notes and smiling at the end of it all. The perhaps faked excitement had been constant and I haven't seen either of the three dodging a single opportunity to get involved. Heck they even lost weight to look the part.

I know my sample size is small, but a 100% success rate (3/3) can lead to a good theory :)

There is no way their desi counterparts would do even half of the above at gun-point and not throw x-large tantrums. It's just not in our dna to put up with what we don't want to deal with. Plus India, being a generally male-dominated society, has no concept of 'it's the bride's way or the highway'. Forget getting in-laws on your side if your man isn't up for it "sara din office mein kaam aur raat ko bhi ghar se computer pe kaam karta hain humara beta... aur kya jaan lenge uski?" is what you might hear ;) So gals, if you are excited about tying that knot, be mentally prepared to do ALL THE WEDDING PREPS without the maa-ka-laadla. That is how it'll turn out in any case and it'll save you the heartburn. And you will have an entire life time (possibly seven) to get even.

Btw if you are that lone desi stud who really did go through it out of his own wish, please do not send me a hate mail. I'm just generalizing here for the benefit of potentially disillusioned bride-to-bes :)

1 comment:

mon espace said...

Doesnt the same reaction apply when it comes to washing dishes, helping around the house and cooking? How would they be any diffrent when it comes to planning a big fat indian wedding??

I am no MAN hater either. DO NOT send me hate mails or make voodoo dolls of me. And to the guys out there who are exceptions..may there be many more like u! ;) (hi five!)