Two apparently normal and harmless words, 'effective' and 'immediately', when used in conjunction with each other, have disproportional power compared to most other combinations of words that I've come across in my professional life.
I've unfortunately seen it's power so much and so often that it shakes me up and keeps me in that state for a good 8 hours. I'd rather be in 20 feet radius of a wild tiger in a remote jungle. Ok maybe 500 feet radius in a bullet-proof van with an armed forest officer and his backup but whatever.
Effective immediately there are no more ladies restrooms.
Effective immediately there are no more weekends off.
Effective immediately you cease to exist.
Dramatic? Perhaps a tad but the effect is the same no matter what follows those two words because it's far from pleasant. If it ain't pleasant, it'll be ridiculous which means there's only one right way of using these two words - the unpleasant way. Try it out. It might be a fun little exercise.
Effective immediately I like you. (so lame)
Effective immediately I will buy you lunch every day. (beyond nerdy)
Effective immediately you are promoted with a 15% raise. (oooh this one isn't too bad but far from ideal)
For the most part, it's unsettling to say the least even when it doesn't involve you. Who knew words could be so creepy?
If you found this blog vague, it was deliberate. At least for my sake, I hope it was vague.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Always politically incorrect
I don't know what's with me and certain situations but I end up being far too often politically incorrect than otherwise. But these being tricky situations, there is no set answer to the same question.
For instance, if you bump into a cheerful looking acquaintance at a party and ask "so where's the boyfriend" and if pat comes the reply "oh we broke up", how are you supposed to respond? I've tried "oh i'm so sorry" and I've gotten "yeaa it is what it is" and then awkwardness followed by a sad face that I contributed to. I've also gotten "don’t be sorry coz i'm not" which I have to admit is a little hard to respond to except for an "alright then''. And then there's an occasionally narcissistic "he didn't deserve me" where I have to chime in and say "you bet" or something. Maybe I should just stick to the standard boring "so how are the Angels (or whatever her fav team is) doing this season?"
I'm bad with names. Rather I'm bad with names of important people. On my graduation day, I introduced one of my profs to my dad saying "this is professor" and then I shut up coz I couldn't remember his name. I didn't know his first name and couldn't recall his last. The prof didn't help out by finishing the sentence for me. So we all stood there in utter silence. Unfortunately, it has happened more than a few times. It's started happening in management meetings now. "On that front I'm working closely with" followed by stuttering or stammering in the first or last name if it isn't someone from my dept. Of course I remember the names of all 400 kids I went to school with.
Much like Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail', I can rarely reciprocate the kind gesture when someone's really mean to me. Then after the steam has evaporated and the season has changed, my mind is still thinking of a fitting response and a week later, I have it. At which point it’s always a day late and a dollar short. Totally irrelevant. But since it has taken me a week to frame the response, I have to do justice to it. It doesn't only end up being completely inappropriate but rather makes it sound so absurd. I'm getting better at it though, much to the annoyance of a lot of people.
Or when someone asks me if I'm ever gonna have a second baby... and I always end up going down the path of "Certainly, just so my first born can have some company and I won't have to be her best friend and actually get some peace of mind" and I'm the only one laughing while people are shooting me the 'you are so mean' look. I need to stop hanging out with single peeps. What do they know!
Maybe they offer courses on it in shady personal development institutes that I used to mock. I probably need one.
For instance, if you bump into a cheerful looking acquaintance at a party and ask "so where's the boyfriend" and if pat comes the reply "oh we broke up", how are you supposed to respond? I've tried "oh i'm so sorry" and I've gotten "yeaa it is what it is" and then awkwardness followed by a sad face that I contributed to. I've also gotten "don’t be sorry coz i'm not" which I have to admit is a little hard to respond to except for an "alright then''. And then there's an occasionally narcissistic "he didn't deserve me" where I have to chime in and say "you bet" or something. Maybe I should just stick to the standard boring "so how are the Angels (or whatever her fav team is) doing this season?"
I'm bad with names. Rather I'm bad with names of important people. On my graduation day, I introduced one of my profs to my dad saying "this is professor" and then I shut up coz I couldn't remember his name. I didn't know his first name and couldn't recall his last. The prof didn't help out by finishing the sentence for me. So we all stood there in utter silence. Unfortunately, it has happened more than a few times. It's started happening in management meetings now. "On that front I'm working closely with" followed by stuttering or stammering in the first or last name if it isn't someone from my dept. Of course I remember the names of all 400 kids I went to school with.
Much like Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail', I can rarely reciprocate the kind gesture when someone's really mean to me. Then after the steam has evaporated and the season has changed, my mind is still thinking of a fitting response and a week later, I have it. At which point it’s always a day late and a dollar short. Totally irrelevant. But since it has taken me a week to frame the response, I have to do justice to it. It doesn't only end up being completely inappropriate but rather makes it sound so absurd. I'm getting better at it though, much to the annoyance of a lot of people.
Or when someone asks me if I'm ever gonna have a second baby... and I always end up going down the path of "Certainly, just so my first born can have some company and I won't have to be her best friend and actually get some peace of mind" and I'm the only one laughing while people are shooting me the 'you are so mean' look. I need to stop hanging out with single peeps. What do they know!
Maybe they offer courses on it in shady personal development institutes that I used to mock. I probably need one.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Coconut palms with a side of potatoes
It's such a great feeling when you create something that you end up loving, by accident. I threw in a few ingredients this morning for a potluck lunch and ended up loving one of the dishes so here goes. It's super quick and easy, hence one of my signature dishes from now on.
Ingredients:
- 2 large potatoes
- 1 bowl plain yogurt
- 1 pack DEEP frozen coconut chutney
- Oil and regular spices
Recipe:
-----------------------------
- Bake, potatoes in microwave, peel and chop
- Heat EVOO in a pan, add potatoes, salt, haldi, red chilli powder and stir for 2 minutes. Set aside.
-----------------------------
- Heat some EVOO in a pan, add mustard seeds and jeera. Let splutter then add hing.
- Add whisked yogurt, salt, haldi, dhaniya-jeera powder, red chilli powder, grated ginger and curry leaves and let boil for 5 minutes. Take off the heat.
- Add the entire pack of thawed coconut chutney and mix well.
- Add potatoes to it and mix.
- Garnish with coriander.
I think it is a cheated version of dum aloo. But the coconut definitely gives it a nice kick so please don't try this without the coconut chutney. Serve with roti or poori.
Bon appetite.
Ingredients:
- 2 large potatoes
- 1 bowl plain yogurt
- 1 pack DEEP frozen coconut chutney
- Oil and regular spices
Recipe:
-----------------------------
- Bake, potatoes in microwave, peel and chop
- Heat EVOO in a pan, add potatoes, salt, haldi, red chilli powder and stir for 2 minutes. Set aside.
-----------------------------
- Heat some EVOO in a pan, add mustard seeds and jeera. Let splutter then add hing.
- Add whisked yogurt, salt, haldi, dhaniya-jeera powder, red chilli powder, grated ginger and curry leaves and let boil for 5 minutes. Take off the heat.
- Add the entire pack of thawed coconut chutney and mix well.
- Add potatoes to it and mix.
- Garnish with coriander.
I think it is a cheated version of dum aloo. But the coconut definitely gives it a nice kick so please don't try this without the coconut chutney. Serve with roti or poori.
Bon appetite.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
The next best thing
I was at the doctor's yest morning. The nurse, as usual, was taking her own sweet time to go through an extensive list of what appeared to be seemingly innocuous albeit useless questions. Then she got down to the ethnicity (linked to nationality) question and couldn't find 'Indian' (of course it existed as Asian Indian) in the drop down list so looked at me and innocently asked "so would that be Indonesian?"
It's an interesting aspect of human psychology. When you don't find what you're looking for, immediately your mind wanders around, looking for the next best thing, whether it fits or not, whether it's applicable or not, whether it's what you might want or not.
In good old days, when a potential desi groom would visit a family with two daughters to check out the elder one, and if something did not work out, no one shied away from instantaneously proposing the younger one. The younger one's gotta have some of the common qualities as the elder one after all.
The career choice for wanna be engineering students with 12th grade result sheets in their hands is a testimony to this. All the branches of engineering have a score associated with it. If you want to be a comp eng, but did not quite qualify on the basis of your score, you go to the next best (and available discipline). And it doesn't matter how far spaced out computer and mechanical engineering are from each other.
It brings to mind the oh-so-popular "settle hone ko mangta" from Rangeela. If you take it out of context, the human mind is wired to settle on the subject it's working on and if the expected doesn't seem to be in the vicinity, you settle for something else. In short, just coz you have to settle the matter, you settle for whatever you can get. And it's often too late when you realize it's definitely not what you wished for.
But you probably know that... and it's no biggie. Ok time for some spiced tea but out of mint... maybe I'll settle for coffee.
It's an interesting aspect of human psychology. When you don't find what you're looking for, immediately your mind wanders around, looking for the next best thing, whether it fits or not, whether it's applicable or not, whether it's what you might want or not.
In good old days, when a potential desi groom would visit a family with two daughters to check out the elder one, and if something did not work out, no one shied away from instantaneously proposing the younger one. The younger one's gotta have some of the common qualities as the elder one after all.
The career choice for wanna be engineering students with 12th grade result sheets in their hands is a testimony to this. All the branches of engineering have a score associated with it. If you want to be a comp eng, but did not quite qualify on the basis of your score, you go to the next best (and available discipline). And it doesn't matter how far spaced out computer and mechanical engineering are from each other.
It brings to mind the oh-so-popular "settle hone ko mangta" from Rangeela. If you take it out of context, the human mind is wired to settle on the subject it's working on and if the expected doesn't seem to be in the vicinity, you settle for something else. In short, just coz you have to settle the matter, you settle for whatever you can get. And it's often too late when you realize it's definitely not what you wished for.
But you probably know that... and it's no biggie. Ok time for some spiced tea but out of mint... maybe I'll settle for coffee.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
When love goes missing
Too many birthdays in my family this week brought back memories of one too many celebrations and people... friends... long lost friends.
It's funny how when you're in school, the rate at which you make friends goes up exponentially. Scrapbooks aren't enough to hold all your expressed love for them. Then you grow up and the world's a different place. Every passing day adds a new layer of complexity on your once innocent face. And why wouldn't you embrace it… that's the way the cookie crumbles. But as the layers get added, the equations you once shared with people often change. Or at least the way people perceive you changes. Perhaps vice versa too.
I've lost one too many friends over the years... some for trivial reasons, some for reasons I can't remember and most without any reasons. I never introspected and asked myself the hard questions. I don’t know if I would have found convincing replies though. Different cities, different schedules, different wavelengths, different expectations.... who knows. Perhaps we just withered away with time. But that doesn't mean I have moved on. Life takes a toll on you and makes you forget about everything that has gone missing, until days like these when you sit and reminisce.
So here's a toast to all my precious friends (you know who you are)! Whether you're on my facebook or not, whether you're on my speed dial or not, whether we spend hours talking over a cuppa anymore or not, you'll always be in my heart.
p.s. lets talk :P
p.s.1 if email works better for you...
p.s.2 just drop by, will ya?
It's funny how when you're in school, the rate at which you make friends goes up exponentially. Scrapbooks aren't enough to hold all your expressed love for them. Then you grow up and the world's a different place. Every passing day adds a new layer of complexity on your once innocent face. And why wouldn't you embrace it… that's the way the cookie crumbles. But as the layers get added, the equations you once shared with people often change. Or at least the way people perceive you changes. Perhaps vice versa too.
I've lost one too many friends over the years... some for trivial reasons, some for reasons I can't remember and most without any reasons. I never introspected and asked myself the hard questions. I don’t know if I would have found convincing replies though. Different cities, different schedules, different wavelengths, different expectations.... who knows. Perhaps we just withered away with time. But that doesn't mean I have moved on. Life takes a toll on you and makes you forget about everything that has gone missing, until days like these when you sit and reminisce.
So here's a toast to all my precious friends (you know who you are)! Whether you're on my facebook or not, whether you're on my speed dial or not, whether we spend hours talking over a cuppa anymore or not, you'll always be in my heart.
p.s. lets talk :P
p.s.1 if email works better for you...
p.s.2 just drop by, will ya?
So long Michael
What an awfully sad day at work today. Lots of co-workers, music lovers and Michael Jackson fans, devastated at the news of his sudden demise. We had just sold out all 50 shows of his London tour. Sold out, 50 shows in one city. Sold out, after him releasing just 2 albums in 18 years. Sold out, after him not touring in 12 years. That was MJ for you. His talent, his fame, his legacy... all unmeasurable. These dramatic shows promised an explosive return with a band of the highest calibre, state-of-the-art stage show and incredible support acts. He'd been rehearsing for it at a close by facility since a couple weeks and even this morning. For those of us who worked with him on it, this will be so hard to get over.
He will always be remembered for his incredible talent and his unfortunate eccentricity.
It was also the day of the 2009 NBA draft. I stopped by at the draft party at ESPN Zone for a little bit to check on the excitement. Of course Lakers never pick from the draft, so Clippers were hosting the party. The place was jam packed with fans in their fav team's gear. They had won the lottery, got the first pick and picked Blake Griffin, a 6'10" dude from Oklahoma. The crowd went beserck, cheering with excitement when that was announced. This little boy, 19 years in age, has been compared to Karl Malone already. I can only hope he saves the Clippers from giving away free tickets next season :p
Cannot imagine the drama at the draft if Lakers picked from there!
He will always be remembered for his incredible talent and his unfortunate eccentricity.
It was also the day of the 2009 NBA draft. I stopped by at the draft party at ESPN Zone for a little bit to check on the excitement. Of course Lakers never pick from the draft, so Clippers were hosting the party. The place was jam packed with fans in their fav team's gear. They had won the lottery, got the first pick and picked Blake Griffin, a 6'10" dude from Oklahoma. The crowd went beserck, cheering with excitement when that was announced. This little boy, 19 years in age, has been compared to Karl Malone already. I can only hope he saves the Clippers from giving away free tickets next season :p
Cannot imagine the drama at the draft if Lakers picked from there!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monkey business with SurveyMonkey
In a breaking news story today, President Barack Obama has been named the world's most stylish man. He beat out Brad Pitt, who came in second. A survey of 3,000 men put the 47-year-old president at the top of the list. Soccer star David Beckam came in third, followed by James Bond star, Daniel Craig was voted fourth.
Please tell me as you are reading this, your jaw is dropping to the ground and your forehead is developing numerous creases. Thank you. Why can't we just say it like it is? He's a very able and articulate president with intelligence galore and a great family. That is seriously a LOT of qualities/ achievements to have in your kitty. Why then, in addition to all that, does he have to be a style icon and superman and ha-ha funny with the best bikini body (oops that doesn't apply here) and everything else? Just coz we like him so much? Isn't that being unfair to the real style icons and the real superman (ok there is no real superman but still) and the real funny guys who get knocked off the list when this guy gets pulled up?
FHM Magazine released its list of the sexiest women in the world a while back where Ms. Freida Pinto ranked 10th. Also, she showed up as a member of People Magazine’s 'Most Beautiful 2009' list. I love her, really, but one of the most beautiful in the world?
Zillow.com published their desired celebrity neighbor survey which revealed that U.S. adults would most like to be neighbors with Sarah Palin. Any doubts only retirees, southerners and perhaps men who love dumb women were the only ones who took this survey?
Are we redefining these parameters? I never got a memo about it. I'm going to go with a different theory. Most of us prolly don't even read those surveys before filling them out in a jiffy while multitasking.
Read the survey questions people. I don't wanna see Joe Biden as the guy most teenage girls have a crush on :)
Please tell me as you are reading this, your jaw is dropping to the ground and your forehead is developing numerous creases. Thank you. Why can't we just say it like it is? He's a very able and articulate president with intelligence galore and a great family. That is seriously a LOT of qualities/ achievements to have in your kitty. Why then, in addition to all that, does he have to be a style icon and superman and ha-ha funny with the best bikini body (oops that doesn't apply here) and everything else? Just coz we like him so much? Isn't that being unfair to the real style icons and the real superman (ok there is no real superman but still) and the real funny guys who get knocked off the list when this guy gets pulled up?
FHM Magazine released its list of the sexiest women in the world a while back where Ms. Freida Pinto ranked 10th. Also, she showed up as a member of People Magazine’s 'Most Beautiful 2009' list. I love her, really, but one of the most beautiful in the world?
Zillow.com published their desired celebrity neighbor survey which revealed that U.S. adults would most like to be neighbors with Sarah Palin. Any doubts only retirees, southerners and perhaps men who love dumb women were the only ones who took this survey?
Are we redefining these parameters? I never got a memo about it. I'm going to go with a different theory. Most of us prolly don't even read those surveys before filling them out in a jiffy while multitasking.
Read the survey questions people. I don't wanna see Joe Biden as the guy most teenage girls have a crush on :)
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